Spencer Swallows a Tennis Ball

A couple of weeks ago my throat was really bothering me. I'd had the usual cold symptoms - all stuffed up, sore throat - but after the cold went away my throat was still bugging me. When I was little, I used to roll up entire pieces of Wonderbread and shove them in my mouth. On more than one occasion the bread got stuck in my throat. That is exactly what my throat felt like.

After about a week, the pain still hadn’t gone away. I figured I should probably do something about it. I started out with our friend, the internet. WebMD didn’t really seem to have the answers so I had to head to Google. (Note: be careful when typing the word “throat” into a search engine)

I starting reading that feeling you have something stuck in your throat is sometimes associated with throat cancer. That got me a little worried. My web search also turned up the following, "Three weeks later a friend's German shepherd got a tennis ball caught in his throat." Maybe that was my problem. Either way, I figured I’d better call the doctor.

The doctor asked me what the problem was. “Well, Doc, I think I may have swallowed a tennis ball.”

He looked around in there and then said, “We’re going to have to take a blood test.” He then told me that he thought I might have a thyroid problem. Hmm, that doesn’t sound too good. “Don’t worry,” he assured me, “while this would’ve killed you 40 years ago, it’s quite curable today.” Yep, that’s assuring.

Traci immediately researched thyroid diseases and found that it can lead to goiters. “I don’t think I can love you with a goiter,” she said. Comforting.

I heard back from the doctor a few days later. It’s not thyroid, but he doesn’t know what it is. I’m telling you, it’s a freaking tennis ball.