Increase My Killing Power, eh?

Doctor: We can preform the operation for you. It greatly increase your brain power. Or it may kill you.
Homer: Hmm, increase my killing power, eh? I'll do it!

You know what I hate? Everything. No, but I do hate gimmicky self-assessment color tests, self-help books and the like. But due to the fact that I lose my car keys at least three times a week, and my wallet the other two days, I figured I needed some help. So I called up friend, drummer and librarian Danny Hansen, and asked him to bring me some books on how to increase my killing, er, memory power.

I've only read the first chapter of BrainFit, but I have a feeling 27-year-olds aren't the target audience. (Sample question: How often do you forget to take your pills.) Nevertheless, I carry on.

One of the first recommendations was to change up the way you do things that you don't normally have to think about. So this morning I brushed my teeth with my non-dominant hand. I wasn't as good with my left hand as I thought I'd be, but brushing your teeth doesn't require a lot of precision. When I got done I was impressed by my new and improved brain power. Unitl I stepped into the shower and realized I had a giant chunk of toothpaste in the back of my hair. I guess I need to keep practicing.

UPDATE: Tonight I took the book's first quiz to gauge my memory. I am pleased to report that score is that of an average 70-year-old. I'm the target audience after all.