Day Two: Smells Unlike Teen Spirit

2 p.m.

This hotel smells like sweaty men's cologne.

2:05 p.m.

I think a job staffing the Purse & Jewelry sale in the lobby of a hotel may be the saddest job in the world. No one goes into the room because who really needs to buy jewelry in the lobby of a hotel? Then, because no one is in the room, even the people who might want to buy some purses and jewelry in a hotel lobby find it too awkward to be the only one in there. Poor purse and jewelry sales lady.

But then again, maybe sitting an empty room and reading a book all day wouldn't be that bad. And maybe purse and jewelry lady is thinking 'I sure am glad that I don't have to sit at a conference about dental insurance all day. At least here I'm surrounded by my two favorite things--purses and jewelry.'

3:05 p.m. Full head of hair envy...

Sitting in a breakout session, annoying guy keeps asking dumb questions. He has a lisp that is really bugging me, but I can't help thinking "Man, what a great head of hair."

Would I want my hair back if it meant I had to have a lisp? Hmm. Maybe. But I talk a lot, so that might not be best for me. If it was a light lisp, I think I'd do it. I'll talk to annoying guy after the meeting. I wonder if he'd ditch his hair to have my beautiful. lisp-free voice.